I have been trying to upgrade my RAM for weeks. Weeks. Every time I installed it, it failed to load. If I put the old memory back, it worked fine.
I updated the BIOS, got the latest drivers, nuttin.
Then, on a single page five pages down in Google, I found people who had the same problem and a solution.
Reset the clock battery.
You read that right. Reset the clock battery.
So I did.
And now, the RAM works.
Which makes me wonder how long _someone_ long ago suffered through the process of figuring out why this doesn't work before they said "You know what? Let's do the one thing that would seem to have NOTHING to do with the problem"
I will never truly understand computers. Zippy 7:56 PM
I go see a different doctor this week, a supposed whiz kid when it comes to antidepressants. My therapist has said a few times that I should see him (he's in the office three feet from the therapist's), but I've kinda been non-commital on the whole thing.
But the last time I was in, I told my therapist to give me his number and I set up an appointment.
The problem I'm having isn't that the Welbutrin isn't working--it is. I feel more "with it" than I did with the Celexa, which has it's good and bad points these days. It's still better than Spock-mode, though.
But I've come to realize that I'm missing something rather critical to my growth as a person, personally and professionally.
I lack gumption.
I have grand ideas in my head that rarely, if ever, get acted upon. That doesn't bug me.
What does bug me is the smaller things, such as this: I have a great book on Photoshop CS3. A wonderful tutorial that walks you through an absolute ton of things you can do with the program.
I've read the book cover to cover twice. I have yet to actually do anything in CS3. There's just no interest in it.
I've got a half dozen books I'd like to read. I'm just not interested in actually getting them.
I created a neighborhood blog, but have extreme difficulty getting myself to work on it.
I have cameras, lenses and plenty of Compact Flash cards, yet I've only taken 21 pictures in the last week, 17 of them yesterday.
I feel perfectly content if I go through an entire day and accomplish nothing more than the bare minimum necessary to survive.
And frankly, that's no way to live.
So even though I'm scared of changing ADs, especially seeing the hell Squeaky went through when she tried a variety of ADs before settling on one, I'm willing to give it a shot to see if I can find one that beats the anxiety into submission without beating the rest of me as well.
I want my gumption back.
In other news, I bought a refurbished Canon 40D off eBay over the weekend after discovering that the camera, new, was actually going UP in price, from low $700s to $899 in two, three weeks. So I feel lucky I was able to get it at the price I did.
To get the lens I want will likely require my portion of our tax refund, selling another lens, my Canon S2IS camera and a DVD recorder I don't use anymore. And that still probably won't cover the cost because the price on it has jumped, too.
In some respects, it's silly. Wedding photography is a job, but it's not my Job, so there's no real reason to keep upgrading when what I'm using now is good enough.
And that's why I think there's hope for getting my gumption back, because while what I'm using now is good enough, I really want to make better pictures than I can right now. Zippy 9:42 PM